thefrogman:

“We must acquire a larger vessel.”
- Jaws

“I’m growing impatient with these malevolent slithering reptiles on this bloody aircraft.”
- Snakes on a Plane

“Toodeloo you ghastly miscreant.”
- Die Hard 1,2,3,4

“Please remove your simian appendages from my person, you unwashed gorilla man-thing.”
- Planet of the Apes

“There is a herptile in my western footwear!”
- Toy Story

“I shall return.”
- Every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie

“I am now fully versed in the combat stylings of “Kung Fu.”
- The Matrix

“I do wish I could cease committing acts of sodomy unto your delightful buttocks.”
- Brokeback Mountain

“My dearest apologies Captain, I have configured this vessel to it’s maximum efficiency. Alas, if you wish me to attempt to defy the laws of physics, I shall increase my efforts.”
- various Star Trek movies and episodes

“Does Marsellus Wallace match the appearance of a female canine? Then why is it, good sir, that you are attempting to have coital relations with him, as if he were a female canine?”
- Pulp Fiction

“I do not believe that is an orbiting planetary body, but in fact a massive facility constructed exclusively for use in space.”
-Star Wars: A New Hope

“Oh dear. I do believe that when we dined on this soylent green, the main ingredient was in fact human beings. In its defense, twas better than English food.”
- Soylent Green

“I say to thee honestly milady, I am an indifferent.”
- Gone With the Wind

“It’s an elaborate ruse!”
- Return of the Jedi

“Miss Scarlett, I regret to inform you that I am uneducated in the field of obstetrics.”
- Gone With the Wind

“Fare thee well, infant.”
- Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Did you get them all? Have any to add?

jaimeleigh:

Saturday night was crazy strange, and crazy wonderful. I went out to celebrate my very good friend’s birthday and both my boyfriend and my ex non-boyfriend were there, sitting at the same table. It was bizarre on many levels, but the oddest thing was that there was no O.C. style drama, not even for a single scene. I didn’t really interact with the ex-whatever, but the limited interaction we did have was casual and easy. It might have been the vodka, but in that moment I could half imagine an eventual return to the way things were, that lovely time before the lies and the scandal, the duplicity and the borrowed soap opera plotlines.

The big deal came at the end of the night. Stumbling down the sidewalk…trying to hail a cab…just outside cracktown: my boyfriend, for the first time, told me he loves me.

I said the words for the first time almost two months ago. I knew before I said it that I wouldn’t hear it back…I knew he wasn’t there yet, or at the very least, wasn’t ready to say it out loud yet. So for a few months I’ve been saying it and hearing nothing back. That might sound awful, but I actually think it is quite wonderful. He didn’t say it as an auto response to my admission…he didn’t say because my words demanded it. He said it when he felt it—and knew for sure he meant it.

It might be a silly thing—this need to declare the words, the expectation that there be a formal decree of feelings. Whether he said it or not, I never questioned his love. His treatment of me leaves no room for doubt. Still, it was incredibly satisfying to hear.

There was a time I believed I would never be loved—indeed, I believed I was unlovable. I resented the happiness of others because I considered it unattainable for myself. I eschewed healthy relationships and refused to pursue men good for me because being bitter and lonely and angry and hopeless was familiar and certain—and safe.

I’m acutely aware that I might have spent my whole life designing the pain I anticipated around every corner. That that will not be my fate…that those words now sound absolutely mad to me…I feel so fucking lucky.

I don’t care that it’s sappy, I don’t care that it’s cheesy, I don’t care that it’s something that would fit seamlessly in the script of a Jennifer Aniston rom com.

Love can change you, and that is grande.